Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
