??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
