just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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