It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ttyl tear gas
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
