She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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