you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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