I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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