Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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