Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
