Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
