..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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