I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
