bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
zippers are such a cool invention
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
