I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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