You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
