i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
