i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
