Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
