just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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