Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
