Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
