I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
