the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
