Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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