**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
