I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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