Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
