That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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