we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want nice things and good sex
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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