shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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