So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
