And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
