he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
