would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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