why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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