New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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