i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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