Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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