It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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