pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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