She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
