Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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