Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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