i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
