You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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