Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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