We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
