yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
