babies were throwing up all over the place
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
