I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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