The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
